dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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