I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
