I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
