cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
