They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I need to stop coming to work sober
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
