dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
