I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
