my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize