Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
