Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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