Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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