Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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