I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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