So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There r osticjed everywhere
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
