He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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