I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
