Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
