Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
