I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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