Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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