this beer tastes like vomit already
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
