Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
