we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
