sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
How's work?
Spinning.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
