just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize