is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
