whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
