Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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