i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I understand Curling. That high.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
