the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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