I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
