Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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