Buhtt sex?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
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