I puked a lego.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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