you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
