Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
