Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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