oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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