Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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