Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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