So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
