i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize