Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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