ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
