69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
