Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
