Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
should my penis look like a turkey
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
