i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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