____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
