I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize