I'd wear matching sweaters with you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
