I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
