Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
