i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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