You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
