GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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