we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
