you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
