Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize