Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
