; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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