Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
